President George Bush today issued an executive order reinstituting the military draft in order to boost his chances of winning reelection on November 2.

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White House spokesman Scott McClellan said the president made the decision based on new polling data which shows that Mr. Bush enjoys overwhelming popularity among U.S. military personnel, and 94 percent of them plan to vote.

"Two-thirds of the military want to see President Bush beat Sen. Kerry," said Mr. McClellan, "So, Karl Rove convinced the president that more soldiers means more votes for Bush-Cheney."

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"If I understand the data correctly," said Mr. Bush, "this move alone should turn hundreds of thousands of America-hating, anti-Bush slackers into patriotic, voting Republicans. That ought to help put the swing in a few states."